Closed Circuit: unwanted garden-grabbing

As the government bends itself backwards trying to square its ambition to build 300,000 new homes a year, with its housing minister’s determination that not one blade of grass shall give way to new housing, we have the answer. Building upwards.

In a press release over the weekend, the MoHoCoLoGo (or whatever they’re calling it now) “ushered in a new generation of town houses” by fiddling planning rules to make it marginally easier to add a storey to an existing property.

Its press release assured us – without much explanation as to why – this would happen mostly in “cities like London and Manchester” and would “ease pressure on valuable open spaces”. Which translates roughly as: if you live in the Home Counties, rejoice. And vote Tory.

The move, it said, would “stop unwanted garden-grabbing”. Closed Circuit is suddenly worried it didn’t chain up its garden last night.

Of course, there were some limitations on this promise: the new storeys will have to be “in keeping with the roofline of other buildings in the area”, and all developments “must remain in keeping with the character of the local area”.

Radical thinking indeed. Closed Circuit expects the housing crisis to be solved in no time.

First there was the leader of Windsor & Maidenhead Council asking the police to clamp down on homeless people for the royal wedding. Then there was Bath & North East Somerset Council threatening rough sleepers with Victorian bylaws. Now, Bournemouth Borough Council is doing its bit for the ‘evil, poor-hating local council’ stereotype.

The authority has installed large metal bars down the middle of its street benches to prevent people with nowhere else to go from using them as beds. It’s like they’re trying to outdo each other, isn’t it?

At the time of writing, a petition to get the anti-homeless bars removed had gained nearly 19,000 signatures, while campaigners have adorned benches with blankets and cushions in protest. Celebrity rapper Professor Green even took time out from spitting bars (one for our younger readers there) to take a trip down to the South Coast and remove one of the bars himself.

Your move, Windsor.

Housing figures were in a nostalgic mood on Twitter this week, reminiscing about things they miss that have been usurped by tech.

Elly Hoult of Notting Hill Housing kicked the debate off by saying she missed using her A to Z – which we assume means the popular atlas series, not her ability to arrange things in alphabetical order.

Jamie Ratcliff of the Greater London Authority showed his age by reminiscing about windy dial phones.

And Closed Circuit’s number-one fan, Tom Murtha, recalled “tuning in my large valve wireless set to find Radio Luxembourg”.

Personally, Closed Circuit misses the days when more people read print media.

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