You are viewing 1 of your 1 free articles
Closed Circuit: take shelter – someone’s on a Diet Coke rampage
A dire shortage of Diet Coke cans gets the Shelter chief executive’s goat, Closed Circuit is under attack and rail enthusiasts show their true colours
Any new job can prove stressful. Meeting colleagues, getting your head around the workload and navigating a new commute can tax the best of us.
So spare a thought for Polly Neate, Shelter’s new chief executive, who found that her regular favourite Diet Coke in a can – a crucial pick-me-up for overworked souls – has disappeared from her local supermarket. Cue a stunned tweet from Ms Neate.
What?! @sainsburys at Euston have stopped selling Diet Coke in cans. Does anyone like it in plastic bottles? Not funny
— Polly Neate (@pollyn1)What?! @sainsburys at Euston have stopped selling Diet Coke in cans. Does anyone like it in plastic bottles? Not funny
— Polly Neate (@pollyn1) September 26, 2017
Closed Circuit understands Ms Neate’s outrage – Diet Coke in a bottle just doesn’t cut it.
Closed Circuit was astonished to find that the anti-media sentiment sweeping the western world extended to the National Housing Federation conference in Birmingham last week, when our spies’ hangout was pelted with one single tennis ball.
Conference delegates were, we’re sure, using their game of tennis to reflect metaphorically on the housing crisis, but one sheepish chief executive had no explanation for the unwarranted violence visited upon innocent journalists when he asked for the ball to be returned.
As the self-appointed umpire of the housing sector, Closed Circuit can confirm the shot was a long way out. Game, set and match.
With housing and Grenfell on the agenda of this year’s Labour Party conference, Closed Circuit was following events in Brighton closely, with the confusing result that we had to watch some people talk passionately about railways. Not our normal subject.
We thought the housing debate could be inflammatory, but little did we know the depths to which railway enthusiasts will stoop.
One delegate got so worked up about Richard Branson’s role in privatising Britain’s railways that he ended up bellowing: “The weather came for your island, now we’re coming for your railways!”
Closed Circuit would like to take this opportunity to come out against Hurricane Irma.
